I'm a woman

I'm a woman
Photos copyright Laurence Gouault
No reproduction on other media without the photographer's permission.

Tuesday, 6 December 2016

Staying flexible in a rigid world, by Steve Haston.

Me in the Grotte de Sabart, eating Damme de Sabart for breakfast, 8a+.

Adam Ondra just repeated Dawn Wall for the second ascent in a ridiculously fast time, congrats, but I have to say I knew he was going to do it. The only way he was going to fail was if the weather stopped him, or if he broke a leg, or he was struck by lightning, or if he failed to get through American Imigration! Why did I know, short answer, he is strong mentally and physically, flexible, and has every single move at the end of easily accessible synapses.

Possibly too flexible.

This is by way of a congratulation of Adams great climbing achievement, he doesn't need it, but maybe his mates who helped him do it do. My own flexibility stretches to trying to learn from others, and I try to adopt that flexible, and at the same time firm mind. There's a Training interview of me talking to Kris Ordub Hampton (it's linkable on my Timeline) which people might mind find interesting, and if they don't they might at least find it funny, click on to it if you want a laugh. If you want to get flexible, do Yoga, and always remember, Yoga is the handle that opens the door to your mind.

Is Adam more flexible than me at my most bendy? Is Adam stronger than me at my most bullish? He is defiantly a better climber, so what is his secret? It's his flexibility! His mind is both strong, and flexible. When many critics said he hadn't done Trad climbing, a few, like me thought he has done a bit, and is flexible enoung to bend his mind around this small knot. When you watch him skipping draws for red points, or doing Elbe sandstone run outs, you know he has what it takes. And it took a lot, but he didn't break, he just bent, like Bamboo. 

Monday, 5 December 2016

The Chimera of climbing.By Stevie Haston

 the Chimera, a great shoe by Scarpa Italy.

It's Xmass all you need in your stocking are boots! Playing with words. Word play, Cold Play. Etc.

These boots are made for walking.

 Thats me in the Blur, looking towards seeing the guy who put me in this photo,  repro is bad because it's a photo of a really big Poster at Liberty Mountain USA.

I am lucky with in the brotherhood  and sisterhood of my friends I don't really have anybody I want to run over and then reverse back over with a steam roller! Theres just a few I want to nudge with a sharp stick. However good wishes to all-today-its sunny and I count my blessings.

 the chameleon nature of politicians is legend.

 This was a very fast little bugger…

 The Stealth helmet, protect your bone dome. The stealth is the second lightest on the Market but certainly the best looking, and for me an easy choice.

Another year another dollar, shekel, euro, let them eat cake the politicians, lets build a wall around American pie, French Cheese, Bulgarian buns, and Chamonix Shams, British Empires, and Draconian Dracs…. Delly Bellies, Wabbly jellies and don't forget arguing about female veils and Terrorists who statistically are less dangerous than wasps in your beer.

 a man has to work, fonf memories of Italy, their Prime-minister just resigned, is it habit forming?

Jesus do I have to work, scrape and mess about for another year when all I want to do is go and live in Madagascar?

 the perennial problem, weakness…

Being weak is optional, stupidity is genetic, although being a lazy, couch voyeaur is fairly characteristic of todays population. Get a life for XMass, stop watching life go by, stop watching the great British Bake off (toss off), get a life. Train spotting 2 will be watched, not some Hollywood crap about superman 55 meets Donald Trump Tower Infernal.

the perennial answer, training….

The flag in the corner is optional, I am not nationalistic at all, indeed how could I be, I have no stamp on my skin-not yet. Laurence my partner for many years, reminded me I was a product of cliffs, and mountains, my character forged through communion with nature and betting my life on my own values.

Wednesday, 30 November 2016

Presents my precious, by Stevie the Hobbit Haston.

 some of my routes getting washed

Its that time of year when Father Xmass, Black Friday, and credit cards get  confused, Blackxmassno credit etc, or something.
I was climbing on warn out shoes, holes in them, waiting for a supply from my friendly Mountain Boot Company, some shoes to tide me over, yeeesss Xmass arrived just on time-early.

 the gift of ROCK, we  will rock you into that gentle night…

Why wait for Xmass? Have it when you want, when you can, can you imagine dying on Xmass eve, and those presents being there, wrapped up and left unused!

 A respectful message to Buckingham Palace and 10 downing street, its in the post, my present to you.

The god of the Jews, the god of Muslims, the god of the Christians is the same one, it's just the wrapping thats different.

 Stix boots from Scarpa UK, a well named product, 3mm sticky rubber that allows you a sensitivity that is unparralled sounds like a something else advert!

I am getting ready to face my 60th year, I will harp on about it no end, you will get bored, but I won't. I will get fit, I'll be active, I will have a productive enjoyable year, I will not wait, I will not waste, one life and you can improve it, you just need to try hard. Good food, good sleep, hard exersise, and a few nice rewards for being true to your self, and not turning in to a bloated TV watching, couch munching excuse.
Girl friend got a tailor made wet suit and a pr of Scarpa Dragos, it's cold today, but into the sea she must go, saysYoda.

I did 10 sets of pull ups before not eating my breakfast, how's that? I'am not boasting, I'am being funny ok. I will go swimming, and diving, and celebrate my own gods today, the gods of being healthy, of seeing untrammelled things. Breakfast is postponed till after swimming, then I will eat cake sent by Her Royal majesty "lucky sperm inheritor of purloined shiny hat", who begs off the UKs poor, to do up her dolls House. Happy pre Xmass to all those Royals in the world, from Bonny Prince Stevie.

Monday, 28 November 2016

All the Presidents Men, by El Stevie Haston.

Reluctant to celebrate the death of a dictator, I went climbing, and mused on the definition of words. Just like climbing grades that purport to give you an idea of difficulty, political words, or designations are very much up for discussion, or lets discount them after all its Black Friday!  Castro good bye, well done for having the highest literacy rate in the Americas, hopefully many of the nasty things attributed to you were either false, or exaggerated. A dictator that spent 54 percent of the countries money on social services, and survived that harassment of the worlds most powerful country, must have been at least a good chess player.

The Berlin wall came down in 1989, since then they introduced parking fees and no bivouacking at Elbe Sandstone, thus turning away climbers from their home turf

 Some people don't like climbing they are frightened of heights, it doesn't necessarily mean they are dead to joy, some people don't like voting for one of two candidates who are both thieves of the people, it doesn't mean its now all their fault.
Funny how words are now so important to people who have forgot that Poetry exists.

 Lets all hold hands and make the world a better place.

I am not a hippy, not even an idealist, I don't even like most people, but hay what's happening in America, and the UK is gonna back fire.

breath in from the belly, empty your head, for some people this is easy.

 Fed up with the world I go under the surface of the water, peace returns, if only for a short while. When you are running out of air you can get a certain lucidity about things. The same goes when you are about to take a big flight through the air! Many people in America and the UK have reached that lucid point, they don't trust the politicians and want a Shaman. Beware the Shaman. 
Shaman is a 7c+ in cave, it's very nice if brutal, and if you get anywhere at all on it, it leaves your fingers bleeding. Thats why I go free diving, death will just be a slippery glide to no tomorrow. As Tracy Chapman sung in "Talkin bout a revolution"

"while they are standing in those welfare lines", and I will add "with their money reduced and only able to buy shit food", people will get fed up, and might say "no". The Standing Rock complaint  in America which apparently doesn't see the light of day on American mainstream media is a very peaceful protest about theft, and bullying by Coporations, it is being met by cruel militarised Police! Welcome to the machine.

Saturday, 26 November 2016

In and out, shake it all about, by Stevie Haston.

                      Soloing a little 6a.

Gozo has some nice little cliffs, with good ambiance. Weid Mielah is a strangely named cliff with a rock arch and generally pleasant climbs, theres a few exceptions, theres the big roof 8b, 7 knee bars in a row, and fairly hard, and mystifying unless your a Mensa Ninja.

 Alex looking pale and pensive, I was laughing.

Another little route with a bite, is called "In and Out", it goes into the back of a cave, and out again! Imaginativly named it is not, but after you do it, please add up how many brain cells you have left! 

 Blurred photo from incapacitated with fear second.

 hanging on a hook and trying to get it out at the same time!

The rock is stoned immaculate, it's really special, big "Gout de eaux" which take some friends for protection.
Then there is a belly flop onto a damp ledge, and some squirming.

 Some swearing going on, in German, directed at me.

The sea was occasionally spurting, but didn't get us wet. The whole route is better as a deep water solo, but it does have a hard move which will probably give you an early bath time.  

 "I will kill you", in German doesn't sound that sweet.

After a sweet little belay among incredible holes, you have to go further into the cave, and bridge out, and traverse the opposite wall, it's a bit chaotic on the brain, spacial awareness goes haywire!

 A brill photo spoilt by either the camera or a shaking hand...

And there you have it, In and Out.

Well you have to be aware that this climb is not the sum of its moves! It is more a journey into corners of your own neurosis. I will thoughtlessly recommend it to people who have high anxiety in their normal lives, should give them perspective. 

Friday, 25 November 2016

Lucky man live your life, by Stevie Haston

 a very big water spout, its gonna suck up the non believers!

 The weather has been a little bit inclement, some rain and a few storms, but hey I haven't missed a days climbing or diving! Yes I am a lucky man! A friend reminded me the other day because I was down. Well theres a lot of people who are down at the moment, so I decided to do my bit for getting people high, as it were. If you get my drift, nudge, nudge to a blind horse. I,ll do a few new routes and try a fix a few routes that are dangerous, my Pro bona work! And thanks my friend for reminding me how lucky I am.

 get finger boarding!

It's winter time, and you should be thinking of doing some systematic training, or going some where, away from rain! Of course you can do both, or better, live some where better. Where is better? Some where without nasty Nazzi politicians, yes!

get fast on the draw donate to my Pay Pal button at the top of the page!

There's a lot of new routes on my island, but I have runout of gear to equip! Donate if you have an interest in climbing, or are thinking of enjoying some climbing on Gozo! Iave done more than 50 trad routes recently that I want to equip, plus I always need lower offs. Please think of donating if you enoy what I do or this blog.

Heres a couple of free tips, use this winter to get really fit, not just for climbing, but for all the other benefits too, like good health. Drop those 5 or 10 lbs, eat more veg.

Do some finger boarding, do some yoga, 15 mins of each will break you into a new grade on top of what you do now! Its a bargain.

Buy a well fitting pair of shoes with sticky rubber, and whisper to your self, place correctly, push correctly, propel correctly. 

More fun and success from me.

Thursday, 17 November 2016

Climbing in a Post Trump era, by Stevie Haston.

No Blogs for a month, so whats up?

It should be clear to nearly everybody in the western world, or maybe even the whole world that there has defiantly been a mega shift to the right, and for the elite. And its obviously only going to get worse. The only question is can it be put into reverse, because it seems on a roller coaster to hell.

Yoga doesn't help at the moment. 
 With the Snooping Charter going through in the UK, and becoming law soon, all that will be needed for you puerile viewing on the net and private messages to be read will be some random words like Islam, President, parliament being blown up, revolution extreme etc.

God spoke to me today and I don't even look like Blair or Bush.

It seems you only have one choice today, that is bore your self to death by trying, probably fruitlessly, to bring your politicians into account. 

put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye!

The Docter Strange Love situation we seem to have been shanghaied into, has come about how exactly, talk of atomic weapons when the only thing people want is not room to expand for the people, but a new I phone. When people actively support war in countries that they have no clue as to their whereabouts, with supposed terrorists who may, or may not be funded by either our allies, or even our selves. Is it not peculiar that at this time when we don't have money in either the USA or the UK for poor people, we seem to have money to kill innocent people? Who is the devil here. If the UK goes on like this we will be exporting our own immigrants, because the banks will be evicting them, and we will be saying cripples and the mentally ill are eligible for work. Strike that last sentence out, we are doing that already. The Cons are killing people by neglect, and reducing their dole, letting them fall through the cracks into the rock hard uncertain future. 
Go climbing before it is decided its subversive, or its taxed, or stand up and be counted. In the last few days in America many people have stood up and been counted for the racism of its new president. But hey they never stood up before, when Bush starting wasting people of a certain race, and his successors continued this racist policy. It is racist, when people don't care when your just wasting "A rabs" isn't it? Its the same with recist police isn't it when they target Blacks? And don't for one second think I am just talking about America, numbers show that although we in the UK don't kill them, we still jail them.